Dec 2009

Well my birthday is all over with now, don't you find its like that? I wait all year for my birthday and the days leading up to it seem to drag and then on the day it all fly's by so fast that it seems like any other day?

We went up to the Westfiled center in London for my birthday and it was really good, it was really big and we didn't get to walk around it all as we didn't have enough time.
We left home just before 9am and got there at about 11 ish and once we had eaten lunch it was like 1pm or something and we had to leave at about 4pm to make it home to put Connor to bed.
They had a few shops that you had to line up for outside like you was waiting to get in to a club or something and they were letting like 1 or 2 people in at a time! seemed very odd and over the top for me, we didn't go in any of them but i was a bit angry as i wanted to go to the Ugg store there to get some stuff for my new boots so they wouldn't get dirty but i wasn't lining up for 20 mins for it.
They also had a place called the village that had all the shops like Prada and D & G and in the middle they had a little cafe/bar thing that was selling champagne for £10 a glass! i wanted to have one but there wasn't any seats left so we didn't in the end.

What is with the weather! SNOW!!! and not just normal snow that we get that melts the next day or so, this snow has been here around 5 days so far! and it looks like we will have it for xmas day too. I should have put a bet on.
Connor loves it when Matt is making snow balls and then throwing them at the window, he laughs so much. he will be sad when it has all gone and we haven't even made a snow man yet...must do that at some point.

I think all my xmas shopping is done now, i have a few bits i still need to wrap (may do them later) and still need to send cards but i think that's not going to happen now. i did all my cards at the end of Nov but i don't know where i put them, some where for safe keeping and now cant find them so cant send them! if you got a card from me then your lucky this year!!!

I'm back on I.V's at the moment, been on them a week today, I'm not sure what my LF was last week as i didn't end up doing my blows but i did them yesterday and they were at 28%.........least to say I'm not happy! i don't know what has happened with my lungs these last 6 months, it feels like they have given up the fight in a way.
I might have to have 3 or 4 weeks of these ones to see if they help. i need to get my weight back on as well so i have asked about NG feeding for after xmas, i need to do something before it gets bad again and I'm really ill. my weight is at 47.9kg but was at 56kg in the summer! so lost lots. I'm also on some steroids too but there making my BM's high so I'm having to do more insulin and coz of that i think I'm losing more weight.
They said we'll see how my LF is over the next few weeks and if it wont go back up then we will have to talk things over and see what were going to do next.
I cant seem to win at the moment.

I cant remember if i said bout me booking up a Holiday at center parcs for Matt's birthday next year? its in march and will be our 1st Holiday together! never felt the need to go before and we always had other things we needed to buy or pay for before having a Holiday like car's/flat/bills/Connor. I cant wait, its going to be good.
Matt knows about it now and is really happy.

Anyway I'm not to sure what else to put....will post again after xmas and with some photos too.

Lost

I feel so lost

Jo was such a good friend and i loved her look on life, even tho she was having a hard time she still helped people that should could and talked about what she would do when she got her new lungs.

That never happened for Jo, sadly she passed away on 24th Nov at 5.30am.

Everyone is upset and will miss her so much, she was such a laugh talking about true blood and twilight and CAKE! it makes me smile to think of her talking about how much cake she had eaten.

She said on Sunday night that she wouldn't go to see the new twilight movie new moon and that she would wait for the DVD, Jo didn't get to see it and i know she would have loved it.

Dont Worry Im Still Here!!

Well i don't know what to say...i have really let things slide with this blog! i guess nothing has been going on that i think people would want to know lol


I have been in hospital and back on I.V's as my LF was back down and after a week was down even more! so i have 3 days left then I'm off them so I'm looking forward to see what they are after 2 weeks of i.v's.


My weight is down too, i have lost around 7kg in 3 months so isn't good, it went down to 49.2kg when i started I.V's but after 7 days it was at 50.1kg so that's good, i think that is coz i have been eating more now and also maybe coz i have been but on insulin 4 times a day :( but if it helps i'll do it. altho i might add i have missed a few with forgetting or being out and forgot to put the pen in my bag, saying that i have miss 2 lots of I.V's this time for being out and forgetting to take them with me so maybe my LF wont be back up!



X-mas is just about here! I love it around this time of year as everyone is in a good mood and i love buying people gifts :D so far i have most of what i have to get.


I need to buy Connor's main present still and few bits here and there for people as i have got everyone either one main present or 2 little ones to make the same money up as everyone else.


I cant wait to put my tree up, only another month left :D We always put our tree up on my birthday, 11th Dec and i still do this even tho i don't live at home now.


For my birthday we are (me, Matt, Connor and Matt's mum) are going to that new shopping center in London, i cant wait I'm going to get some long black UGG boots and some skinny jeans.


The day after we have to go out for Matt's nan and grandad's 50th annavery (SP) meal thing so that will be nice, i have seen a lovely dress in Jane Norman that i want to get but cant try it on yet as my port has the needle in for my I.V's so have to wait till next week. If i got it i would need some nice shoes to go with it too...i don't have any lol i live in trainers and don't really go out out to post places to it will be nice to get something nice for a change. This is the dress anyway....

Connor has started going to play-school for around a month or 2 now and loves it :) he goes two morning as week for 3 hours so i get some rest and get to clean up without him messing it up after me! the joys of a child, he is coming along with his words and can say around 30+ so he is getting better and is starting to put 2 together like he was in the bath a few days ago and when the water was draining away he was saying "bye-bye bubbles" it was so sweet he was waving to them and everything!

I'm going to see the new twilight movie when it comes out next week :D its called "new moon" I'm sure you all know what its about...if not read the book lol

I have to go sort Connor out now so this will have to be the end of this blog for now but i will re-start to update it alot more.

Back On i.v's

Had my annual review ( CF M.O.T) yesterday, it was such a long day and was made longer by having Connor there i think,
We set off at 7am to get there for 8am and had all the tests done and left at 4.15pm and got home at around 5.20pm so very long day with a 2 year old sat in one room for most of the day and it was so hot too.

My lungs are not being very nice to me this summer, my last LF was at 45% and that was 6 weeks ago and yesterday my LF was at 36%!!! so you can guess I'm not to happy about that at all...i had all the diff lung tests done yesterday and when the lady who did the tested showed me them as i waited for another test my LF was 39% on test that i had to blow and hold my breath for 8 sec and them breath out again but as that was not the normal one for my LF to be done on she had to take my LF off the normal test i do every 6 weeks so it is at 39% but there not looking at that...if you understand me lol I'm not sure if i have said that all right :D

My weight is down a bit at 54.4kg but I'm happy with it there so there wasn't much said about that, i said as long as it don't drop under 52kg then I'm happy.
They said it could have gone down to my chest not being right at the mo.

I have to really get back in to doing my nebs as this last week have really gone out the window!

Matt said he wants us to get wed in around 2 years! gives us time to save lol he wants his car 1st and wont use the money he has saved for the wedding lol, men!
So I'm going to have a look online at wedding stuff today just to get me thinking about what i would like, that kind of thing.

Been Well Busy

Well where do i start.....(i should really update more then i do) our back garden is now done (ish) the decking is all done and we have put some top soil down too and put some grass seeds down.
need to get some wood chips to put down the side of the decking and then i can put some pot plants on top of it.

*photo's to follow*

My dad put a path down for us and my brother put us a out door tap on and we got a hose pipe for it so we can grow the grass seed and wash the car, he also put up my new washing line.

Only need to do a few more bits in the garden now.

I have been feeling ill since Friday last week and on Saturday i spent 3 hours having a nap, Matt woke me up with Connor asking if he could leave Connor in the bedroom with me coz he was messing stuff up as Matt was cleaning....Grrrr.....i got up after that. men. I have my M.O.T to moz up the hospital so I'm going to ask for some i.v's at the same time just to get rid of this cough.

Some people next door but one to us was broken in to last night, they took things like handbag and car keys, stuff like that but they didn't take there car so i guess that's a good thing. have to make sure we double lock all the door's and windows at night from now on, we normally do anyway but def cant forget.
I think they broke in to there house as they have been away for a week and only got back on Saturday so maybe they thought they were still away.
I normally wake up if a pin drops and normally wake up and go to the loo a few times in the night but i didn't wake up once last night....maybe it was me who did it with sleep walking lol

I think I'm going to clean up today and bin tons of stuff we don't use and just do a big spring clean, coz I'm in the mood and coz you cant get in our spare room for junk lol

Me and Matt have been talking and once he has got his car next year were going to save for our wedding :) will take up around 3-4 years i would think as we need around 6 grand :) :) :)

were going to get wed at a place called Leez Priory, if you google it you can see it :)

Connor is 2

Had a long last few week so not had time to breath let alone to blog!

Right well so far our garden has been started and the shed is gone now and the path next to it and so that is waiting for the decking being put down (should start that this weekend) and me and my brother have started pulling all the old flowers and plants up because i don't like any of them and want to start a new with all stuff that i pick out and also they were really over grown so we also have to re do the borders so there all the same size and look nice again.

I also have been up north at the weekend to see my nan and grandad as it was Connors 2nd birthday at the weekend and they haven't seen him in around 5 months as they live so far away (around 3 hour)
My aunt came back down with us and is staying at my mum and dads for a week and then my dad is driving her back up next week.

And it was Connors birthday at the weekend! he got so much stuff, mostly all Thomas and toy story stuff and a few bits for the garden like a sand pit and slide and he got a 16ft slip and slide!!! Matt has kinda nicked that one till Connor is older.
We had it up at the weekend and Matt was going down it and Connor even did, it was so funny as he was fully dressed because we didn't think he would go on it.

I feel pretty breathless at the mo and i think its to do with this new bug i have been growing for the last few months, i think its called aspergillus? (is that right ?? Gemma would know lol)
anyway i have not long had i.v's so I'm sure its this bug and not anything else.
I think i may be asking for some meds for it soon as i don't like the feeling, i get it most nights when i lay down in bed when i 1st go to bed and its not a nice feeling at all, like someone is sitting on my chest or something like that.

Got to cut this short as Connor needs changing lol the joys of motherhood!

Im So Fat! (well fat for me)

I hate my shape, now i have put weight on (and still putting it on might i add!) I'm such an odd shape and i hate it i really do, nothing fits any more and i cant seem to find any jeans that will fit my short, skinny legs and my big preg looking belly!!!!!!!!!
I'm not normally a vain person at all, i have my back and have had it for years now so i don't care about that now (but still don't like it) i just hate my belly, i have always been a size 6-8 and now size 10 jeans are getting to small! i mean come on CF!!!!!!! please give me a break, we have all this other stuff to put up with and now you give me this too.

What brings this on i hear you ask, well i don't have any crop jeans or cropped combats and i want some for the summer so have been looking for ages and couldn't find any, well i for 2 pairs great ones today, one of each too and i get them home (there a size 10 by the way) and i just cant do them up. i even nearly cried over it, how silly is that.
I now have to go back to moz and change them for a size 12 but i will try them on in the shop this time!

I also got Connor a green lamp for his bedroom too today and i like its great, it is nearly the same as his green wall in his bedroom so i like it but Matt thinks it looks like a old person lamp as its just a plan lamp.

I have lost my cable to charge my camera so i cant put any photos on my laptop and i cant take any more! its really making me angry coz it was here a few weeks ago but not now.

We also got a new bin today as our old one died.........it was one of them push top ones (2nd one we have had) and Connor bust it (like the 1st) so today we got a pedal one so i hope he will leave this one be, i tell him its not a game but he don't seem to care he just thinks its a new toy for him.

I'm off to bed now as Connor was up at 5am today with a messy nappy and then wouldn't go back to sleep but at least i was up and ready to take my i.v's on time lol