The long a-waited answer

Is anyone even reading this blog? prob not haha

Anyway lets get to the point shall we......I'M ON THE LIST!
Well as from the 1st of April ish as i have to have a smear test done next week but I'm very happy about it all and cant wait to start my new life, our new life mine, Matt and Connor.
All the tests they did was pretty much normal and i have had most of them done before so it wasn't anything from the norm for me.
I had my button changed today too and it bleed a little so that freaked me out a tad but its fine now, it was also changed for a smaller one as it keeps leaking so i will see if this one is any better.
I'm going home soon, 15 hours and 20 Min's lol i cant wait, 9am to moz and I'm out that door and they wont see me for dust! i hope i can stay away for a good 6 weeks this time, might even get a call before coming back in haha that's scary to think, scary but good.
The food is so bad in here i don't think i would even feed it to my dog! mums cooking for me when i get home, yum cant wait and just thinking about home cooking is making my mouth water as i type!

I have been thinking of doing some sort of course for when i get my lungs and start my new life, i have always wanted to work with animals but since having all the TX talks i don't think i should risk it (no that your cant work with them, just birds i think)  so i was stuck as to what i could do and then a friend from papworth who is staying in at the moment too who has done a nail training course from ICS so i have had a look and i think i will give that a go.

There is alot more i need to say but i cant think of everything at the moment, theses last few days have taken a toll on me mentally i think more then anything else.

Hospital

Back in papworth hospital now, been in since Tuesday and have to stay the whole 2 weeks this time. something I'm not to happy about but i don't think i have much of a choice in the matter.
today's the 1st day that i have woke up and felt well, they changed my iv yesterday as i was getting very sick on the one they put me on.
not good that i have come off it as my Dr said i should stay on the iv to show the TX team that I'm willing to do anything to get a TX but i didn't see why i had to be as sick as a dog to show them that, it would have just made me moody and angry and prob a bit depressed on it, not something i wanted.
i do really want a TX, more then anything in the world, i not only want one but i need one, i need to be here for Connor i need to see him grow up, i need to see him grow in to a man...i need to be his mum, i just need a little help to fulfill that.
i have a lovely bit of art work on my wall in the hospital that Connor did for me at school, I'll try and put load a photo of it but not sure how to do it from my phone, Connor broke my cam the other week and i haven't got another one yet.
Connor came up today with Matt and we all went out for lunch, it was lovely and Connor was so clingy with me, Matt said he is missing me.
I have missed Connor so much and i have only been here for 5 days! over a week left.
i start the tests on Monday, I'm not sure what to except so i guess i just get up and ready by 9am and wait for someone to come see me.
Matt is coming up to be with me for every day of the tests, i need some support.

there is a lot of things i have been thinking of doing when i get my new lungs, go to Italy for a lovely Holiday (not been since i was 16) i want to move house, i want to work, i want to buy my own car, i want to stay in a London hotel and walk around London all night and see all the diff things there are out in the world.
so much more, I'll have to do the header thing on here when i would it out lol

I'm back on steroids so have been eating so much! good news i guess but not for my sugars.
my mum has sent up lots of cans of soup for me to eat....i dint know what she was thinking, there is like 10 cans in a bad and that's it! lucky i got some bread while i was out today, looks like soup for tea tonight!!

i will prob next blog after my tests, fingers crossed for good news............not sure what i will do if its bad......