Monday, 28 February 2011

Transplant and Car's

This well has been one of the most scary, hard, upsetting, exciting, stressful weeks of my life.

Last Monday i went for my first TX clinic with Matt, it was good and i know a bit more about what I'm going to be letting myself in for but what i will be getting back far more out weights the bad.
The Dr, Jas was his name, was a very softly spoken middle aged man with white hair and prada shoe's!
He made me feel very at ease with the whole thing and gave me all the facts and info and asked if i wanted to go away and think about what i wanted to do next but i said no i already know, i had been thinking about this for around a year now or so and my mind had always been in the same place, pro TX.
I have never once quested if i should really have one or not, i only have to look at Connor to make me stronger, there is no way that i will ever stop trying to stay alive because if i did that i was giving up on him in a way. I wasn't ever going to do that.
After talking to Jas i had to have some bloods done (5 bottles!) and they didn't have the baby blue butterfly needles that they use on the CF ward so it took 2 trys and and big needle for him to get the blood that the nurse needed. (i still have the bruises to show for it)
When that was all done with Matt held the cotton wool on my hand to stop the blood and im not sure if it was him holding my hand or just the fact someone was but i just started to cry, i felt so silly coz i wasn't upset with anything that Jas had said and i wasn't in pain, i just started crying.
The nurse was lovely he rubbed my back and said that it had been a big step for anyone and that it was good to let it out and have a good cry once in a while, after that i was fine.
Like nothing had happened.
I have just today got my app for my 2 day stay for the TX test, 14th march till 16th march. scary.

We also ordered my new motabiliy car this week, were getting a new C-Max and it will have my number plate on that my mum and dad got me for my 26th birthday last year.
I cant wait, its in panther black and looks fab!
We should be picking it up on he 23rd of may so a few months yet and we added a extra pack on that comes with...
Active Park Assist (Ultrasonic sensors confirm whether a gap is large enough to park in, and then operate the steering while you control the pedals)
Front And Rear Parking Sensors,
And comes with Power Fold Door Mirrors.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Cross Stitch

Forgot to say in the other post, I'm not in to cross stitching!
I'm doing pretty good so far, I'm doing a forever friends one for my friends little girl. it was for her 1st birthday but that was a week ago and I'm still only half way lol so she may be getting it for her 2nd birthday at this rate.
you would think i would have got it done with not working but i have to be in the mood for it and not too tired to do it.
i will put a photo up of it once its all done


I'm very unsure about to moz app with the TX dr's...i don't know what to except or if they will do any test, i think the thing that is getting to me the most is that they could turn around and say no or that I'm too well.
Half of me thinks I'm to well but that half of me is the half that sits on the sofa all day bored, the only hard thing I'm doing is breathing and most of the time i don't think about it unless i get up and walk, but then if i do get up and say go to the toilet or fill the dishwasher or even make Connor something to eat i feel it, i feel so tired or breathless and just not well.
New lungs is the light at the end of the tunnel because i would hate it if this is all my life is, not living just surviving from day to day.
I cant work, i cant play with Connor, i cant take the dog out for a walk, i haven't been shopping since before Xmas and even that was with me in a chair with some one pushing me.
day to day life is getting hard.