Sunday, 6 March 2011

Breathing

Why has it gotten so hard to breathe over the last few days?
I don't know how people do this day in day out, its a very scary thing, something that i have taken for granted before.
i mean don't get me wrong, i have had bad days before when i cant breathe well at all and get very out of breath and tired but nothing like this.
I'm now worrying that this is what its going to be like from now on, walking in to another room kills me, walking up the stairs kills me, bending down kills me.
i haven't ever been scared about my breathing before, i am now.
i have even asked Matt not to do his one day a week at work to moz coz I'm scared i wont be able to even get myself a cup of tea let alone make lunch for myself.
this is a pretty down post today.

Matt is worried, i can see it in his face even if he wont admit it.
every time i cough or catch my breath there is a look in his eyes that tells all.
Connor on the other hand pats my back and asks if i need a glass of water :) love him. he is far to young to understand what is going on and i just hope i get my new lungs this year so he is still young and wont remember it much.

going to ring papworth to moz and get myself a bed to start some iv's. i want septrin to give me a good shot.
I'll prob still be in for when i have my TX tests next Monday too.

3 comments:

Kirstie said...

Its so weird how everything seems to be so similar for us at the moment hun, Im thinking about you always. lots of love xxxx

Kerry82 said...

Hiya,, I have just come across your blog! I am in a similar position to you although I don't have CF, I am on the transplant list and have been waiting 9 months so far. I got married just before I went on the list and am still waiting to have my honeymoon! I have deteriorated really fast over the last 6 months, been put on continuous oxygen and just spent 3 months in hospital but am finally feeling quite a bit better. Really hope you are feeling better very soon and your tx tests all go really well.
Love Kerry xx

Little Harriet said...

*massive hugs* Am thinking of you and sending mendy vibes your way.

LH