I'm fat and its making me really upset, i look preg and i feel so ugly but i just cant seem to stop myself from eating. I'm over eating that's the problem I'm having and its because of the steroids I'm on but also the fact that food has never tasted this good to me before that I'm going a bit mad with it.
Matt says i don't look like i think i look but he cant understand how i feel, he says how can i be fat when i can still fit in size 8 jeans and 6-10 in tops but for someone like me who has never really filled out a size 6 before i now feel massive!!
I'm going to join the gym this week with my friend Laura and our friend Aimee also is a member there already so that will be nice, be a good thing to do every few days and i will get some me time away from the house, Matt and Connor.
Matt is getting me a bike for my birthday in dec but were getting it when he gets paid at the end of the month so i can start getting fit right away.
i cant wait to go try all the bikes and pick my new one, i haven't had one since i was around 13!! that's like 13 years ago lol that's half my life!
I'm also going to start swimming too, its going to be so much fun. i cant remember the last time i went swimming....it was maybe when Connor was around one years old. he hasn't been swimming since then too so i would like to start taking him to swimming lessons next year in the summer time.
I ave got lots of my Xmas gifts sorted out this year already, i worked out how much i have spent on Matt and its around £300 already and i haven't got him that much. i wont say what i have got him just in case he reads this!
i need to get some little bits and bobs for Connor too as we have got his main one already, we got him a go cart, hes going to love it. i cant wait to see his face when he opens it.