IM FAT!!!

I'm fat and its making me really upset, i look preg and i feel so ugly but i just cant seem to stop myself from eating. I'm over eating that's the problem I'm having and its because of the steroids I'm on but also the fact that food has never tasted this good to me before that I'm going a bit mad with it.
Matt says i don't look like i think i look but he cant understand how i feel, he says how can i be fat when i can still fit in size 8 jeans and 6-10 in tops but for someone like me who has never really filled out a size 6 before i now feel massive!!
I'm going to join the gym this week with my friend Laura and our friend Aimee also is a member there already so that will be nice, be a good thing to do every few days and i will get some me time away from the house, Matt and Connor.
Matt is getting me a bike for my birthday in dec but were getting it when he gets paid at the end of the month so i can start getting fit right away.
i cant wait to go try all the bikes and pick my new one, i haven't had one since i was around 13!! that's like 13 years ago lol that's half my life!
I'm also going to start swimming too, its going to be so much fun. i cant remember the last time i went swimming....it was maybe when Connor was around one years old. he hasn't been swimming since then too so i would like to start taking him to swimming lessons next year in the summer time.

I ave got lots of my Xmas gifts sorted out this year already, i worked out how much i have spent on Matt and its around £300 already and i haven't got him that much. i wont say what i have got him just in case he reads this!
i need to get some little bits and bobs for Connor too as we have got his main one already, we got him a go cart, hes going to love it. i cant wait to see his face when he opens it.

Hair loss

Hair loss is something you think of old people having to deal with not something you want to have to think about when your 26 years old and yet here i am looking on the Internet for help with my problem of hair loss.
Its really getting me down, all my life i have had lovely thick hair and i have always been very proud of it, that and my long eye lashes were always my best fetchers and now its all gone to pop.
I have also been told to cut down on what I'm eating as my TX team don't want me to start having other problems from being fat! i have never been told to cut back on food but always been told to eat and eat and eat till i cant fit any more in and then eat some more!!!!
i think this blog is more of a down one today and not much else.

My lungs are doing really well at the mo and i haven't had to stay over night in hospital for a month, and i don't have to go back to TX clinic for 6 weeks! it feels like things with my blood are starting to sort them self's out and i can start to relax a bit and start to plan stuff and enjoy my self.
My LF is slowly starting to go up its now at 1.69 today and last week at TX clinic it was at 64% and I'm really working on it for it to be at 70% or more by next clinic.

Connor being at school now is giving me lots of time to sort the house out and get it how i want it, for the last few year i haven't been Abel to do anything but let Matt sort it all out but now i can i have so many plans and ideas that I'm slowly putting in to play with the 1st thing being sorting Roxy out, she has been eating everything lately from Connors toys to my pills and doors and carpet! she started to get out the hallway when we went out so she was put in her cage so she was in one place but she manged to brake out of that too, so i got my brother to fit some big locks to the doors of the kitchin and so far so good that has kept her in there when we go out.
Next i want to put new doors in all the rooms and then sort out the garden, me and Matt was raking up all the dead leafs today and took them down the dump site so the garden looks better already.

Me and Connor did some baking today and made mince pies with edible glitter on them! there were lovely and i had one with a cup of tea while they were still warm and it was (if i do say so my self) the best one i had ever had before lol
Next up is making cup cakes for my mums birthday next week, i cant wait to see how they turn out, my friend Sammie gave me a recipe for cup cakes and the butter icing topping and i have more glitter and sugar flowers to go on top of them.
I'm really getting in to this housewife job now and love being able to do everything, i even like doing the hovering and ironing!!!
So all in all everything is going well apart from my hair loss.....