I'm fat and its making me really upset, i look preg and i feel so ugly but i just cant seem to stop myself from eating. I'm over eating that's the problem I'm having and its because of the steroids I'm on but also the fact that food has never tasted this good to me before that I'm going a bit mad with it.
Matt says i don't look like i think i look but he cant understand how i feel, he says how can i be fat when i can still fit in size 8 jeans and 6-10 in tops but for someone like me who has never really filled out a size 6 before i now feel massive!!
I'm going to join the gym this week with my friend Laura and our friend Aimee also is a member there already so that will be nice, be a good thing to do every few days and i will get some me time away from the house, Matt and Connor.
Matt is getting me a bike for my birthday in dec but were getting it when he gets paid at the end of the month so i can start getting fit right away.
i cant wait to go try all the bikes and pick my new one, i haven't had one since i was around 13!! that's like 13 years ago lol that's half my life!
I'm also going to start swimming too, its going to be so much fun. i cant remember the last time i went swimming....it was maybe when Connor was around one years old. he hasn't been swimming since then too so i would like to start taking him to swimming lessons next year in the summer time.
I ave got lots of my Xmas gifts sorted out this year already, i worked out how much i have spent on Matt and its around £300 already and i haven't got him that much. i wont say what i have got him just in case he reads this!
i need to get some little bits and bobs for Connor too as we have got his main one already, we got him a go cart, hes going to love it. i cant wait to see his face when he opens it.
Showing posts with label Gym. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gym. Show all posts
Monday, 14 November 2011
Thursday, 1 July 2010
Feeds
I'm now on feeds now i have my PEG in, still a tad bit sore when i twist or bump it and i cant sleep on my belly anymore but I'm still really glad its in and I'm now doing feeds.
when i left the hospital they sent me home with a weeks worth of feeds and bits, i was all set to do 2 bags on my 1st night home but the hospital had forgot to give me the bit of tube that connects the 2 bags together so for the last week i have only been doing one bag a night but have got that down to having it over 2 hours so that's great.
i do my feeds around an hour or 2 after my dinner as i cant stand doing them overnight as the tube gets in the way and I'm always worried that I'm going to pull it out in my sleep or something.
Anyway i got my 1st lot of feed and bits today from homeward (suppliers) so i can now start and do 2 bags of feed a night!!!!
I weighed myself but it seems i have lost a kg! i think from that it shows that i do need 2 bags a night (2000 cal's) and maybe need to keep a better eye on my BM's and maybe need to tweak my nova rapid a bit, I have just got this new app on my iPhone for BM's and that so that should help as i always forget to write down what they are and then forget when the hospital ask me!
Going to do my 1st gym workout on Monday when Connor is at school, well i hope anyway! have to see if the working men are coming to change the front door on Monday or Tuesday. cant wait to have a lovely nice clean white door and not the nasty paint peeling brown wooden one that lets all the cold air in.
Me and Connor did some cooking today and been playing in the garden, i got the swimming pool out for him but it seemed a bit cold to let him get in it, it isn't as hot as it was yesterday but he was at school all day yesterday so he couldn't use it then.
Today he has mainly stayed in just his pants! i don't mind as its hot, I'm still in my PJ's today so how can i tell him to get dressed!
Really hungry and cant wait for my dinner today! going to make pork chops with baby new pots and salad i think for me and Connor, Matt is going to the gym tonight so he wont be eating till around 9pm when he gets in and i will be on my feed by then so i eat dinner with Connor now and not Matt in the week and at the weekend we all eat dinner together.
when i left the hospital they sent me home with a weeks worth of feeds and bits, i was all set to do 2 bags on my 1st night home but the hospital had forgot to give me the bit of tube that connects the 2 bags together so for the last week i have only been doing one bag a night but have got that down to having it over 2 hours so that's great.
i do my feeds around an hour or 2 after my dinner as i cant stand doing them overnight as the tube gets in the way and I'm always worried that I'm going to pull it out in my sleep or something.
Anyway i got my 1st lot of feed and bits today from homeward (suppliers) so i can now start and do 2 bags of feed a night!!!!
I weighed myself but it seems i have lost a kg! i think from that it shows that i do need 2 bags a night (2000 cal's) and maybe need to keep a better eye on my BM's and maybe need to tweak my nova rapid a bit, I have just got this new app on my iPhone for BM's and that so that should help as i always forget to write down what they are and then forget when the hospital ask me!
Going to do my 1st gym workout on Monday when Connor is at school, well i hope anyway! have to see if the working men are coming to change the front door on Monday or Tuesday. cant wait to have a lovely nice clean white door and not the nasty paint peeling brown wooden one that lets all the cold air in.
Me and Connor did some cooking today and been playing in the garden, i got the swimming pool out for him but it seemed a bit cold to let him get in it, it isn't as hot as it was yesterday but he was at school all day yesterday so he couldn't use it then.
Today he has mainly stayed in just his pants! i don't mind as its hot, I'm still in my PJ's today so how can i tell him to get dressed!
Really hungry and cant wait for my dinner today! going to make pork chops with baby new pots and salad i think for me and Connor, Matt is going to the gym tonight so he wont be eating till around 9pm when he gets in and i will be on my feed by then so i eat dinner with Connor now and not Matt in the week and at the weekend we all eat dinner together.
Monday, 4 January 2010
Compliance With Treatments
Gemma got me thinking about my CF today and how compliant i am with it.
The fact of the matter is that i have let it slip big time, i can sit here and say "oh but i cant fit it all in because i have Connor to look after" but its not that at all really, i should be doing it because it is my life and if i want to be here to see Connor grow up then I'm just going to have to suck it up and start doing them more.
What i do at the moment is insulin and night time times manly oh and Creon but i never miss Creon. i am missing out on my TOBI Neb's (do them once in a blue moon) and my DNAEs Neb's, morning pills and phyiso 2x a day.
and I'm hit and miss with my inhaler.
I'm so angry with my self and i cant keep going like this as i wont get on the TX list when i need to because you have to be fully compliant or they don't do the TX.
I have got a book and have done a page with all my meds in and then i can tick them or put a cross if i miss them.
I'm really going to try, i have done it before so i know i can if i put my mind to it.
Other news I'm waiting for a bed at papworth because I'm so tired and out of breath, i need a good rest and looking after.
I'm looking forward to some ME time too but will miss Connor more then words can say but its this or stay ill and just sit there and not playing with him or anything.
I don't want to be that kind of mum.
I'm going to join the gym soon too, well i think it will be opening up soon as it looks done. i cant wait, i hear its very good for your lungs and so is swimming so that will be what I'm doing over the next few months.
Connor is going to a new play school once I'm out of hospital as I'm fed up with the one that he is at now, there cr*p and its not good enough for him, were sending him to one that nearly twice the amount of money but its so much better for him and my dad and Matt's dad will be paying for it anyway so we don't have to worry about that at all and when he is 3 he will get it for free so its not for long.
Right I'm going and have a rest, I'll post next once I'm in hospital.
p.s happy new year everyone x
The fact of the matter is that i have let it slip big time, i can sit here and say "oh but i cant fit it all in because i have Connor to look after" but its not that at all really, i should be doing it because it is my life and if i want to be here to see Connor grow up then I'm just going to have to suck it up and start doing them more.
What i do at the moment is insulin and night time times manly oh and Creon but i never miss Creon. i am missing out on my TOBI Neb's (do them once in a blue moon) and my DNAEs Neb's, morning pills and phyiso 2x a day.
and I'm hit and miss with my inhaler.
I'm so angry with my self and i cant keep going like this as i wont get on the TX list when i need to because you have to be fully compliant or they don't do the TX.
I have got a book and have done a page with all my meds in and then i can tick them or put a cross if i miss them.
I'm really going to try, i have done it before so i know i can if i put my mind to it.
Other news I'm waiting for a bed at papworth because I'm so tired and out of breath, i need a good rest and looking after.
I'm looking forward to some ME time too but will miss Connor more then words can say but its this or stay ill and just sit there and not playing with him or anything.
I don't want to be that kind of mum.
I'm going to join the gym soon too, well i think it will be opening up soon as it looks done. i cant wait, i hear its very good for your lungs and so is swimming so that will be what I'm doing over the next few months.
Connor is going to a new play school once I'm out of hospital as I'm fed up with the one that he is at now, there cr*p and its not good enough for him, were sending him to one that nearly twice the amount of money but its so much better for him and my dad and Matt's dad will be paying for it anyway so we don't have to worry about that at all and when he is 3 he will get it for free so its not for long.
Right I'm going and have a rest, I'll post next once I'm in hospital.
p.s happy new year everyone x
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