Being Unwell Isnt Any Fun With A Toddler!

I'm ill

Its not fun to start with and even less with Connor, even tho he don't mean anything by messing around and banging it really isn't helping.
Yesterday Matt's mum had to come down and help out, i got a 2 hour nap out of it!
And today my mum has been down helping out altho she has gone home for an hour to put some washing on and should be back any min so i can have a bath as me and Matt and some friends are ment to be going out for a meal tonight for Matt's 25th birthday to moz but I'm really not feeling up to it but don't want to let him down as we don't get to go out much as we have Connor so i said i will come but if i don't feel well while were out we'll have to go home.

I think i have said before that i got Matt a long weekend away at center parcs this weekend from Friday to Monday, i really wanted to be well and have a good time...we'll have to see how that goes when i get back and blog about it.

I'm going back in hospital next Wednesday and I'm kinda looking forward to it (is that wrong?) as they have just re-opened the CF ward! they have been working on it since oct last year so it should be good. My friend who used to work at papworth told me she had a look at the ward before she left and said the TV are really big!

Connor is putting stuff out the cat flat....tut!

I'm having my nails done on Monday after we get back from center parcs, it will be the 1st time i have had them done in about 2 years. I'm getting them done for the wedding but want to get used to them again so having them done now. I'm also not having them done very long as i don't want them to look fake.

We have got a few more bits done for the wedding, the DJ is booked, picked what cake we want but cant order it till end of April as its from M&S, got the suits hired, booked a guy to do the photos and when I'm out of hospital or off i.v's I'm going to get the bridesmaids dresses and sort my hair and make-up and flowers but i may do them to moz while Connor is at school if i feel up to it.

Everyone keep saying i have to have a hen night, they wont drop it! I'm not sure i want one and if i did i wouldn't really want to do much as after looking after Connor all day I'm really tired so there is no way i would want to go clubbing or anything like that.
My mum said it might be coz I'm not feeling to well at the mo so i said i'll see how i feel once i have had some i.v's and then if i want a hen night we can sort something out.

I made a milkshake today........it didn't really turn out right lol so I'm going to have to look up how i make a thick one as I'm not in to thin ones.
I even put in a shot of that calgin (spelling) stuff that i got from the hospital to help with my weight but didn't end up drinking so that was a waste.

I was put on a new pill by my GP last Monday night so started taking it on the Tuesday and but the Thursday i was ill, feeling sick, tired, bad back ache and a few other things I'm not sure anyone really wants to know about! so i didn't take it yesterday or today and today I'm feeling alot better then i have been for the last few day so I'm happy about that the only down side is that i'll be on for our stay at center parcs grrr but I'm feeling better so that's the main thing.

Compliance With Treatments

Gemma got me thinking about my CF today and how compliant i am with it.
The fact of the matter is that i have let it slip big time, i can sit here and say "oh but i cant fit it all in because i have Connor to look after" but its not that at all really, i should be doing it because it is my life and if i want to be here to see Connor grow up then I'm just going to have to suck it up and start doing them more.

What i do at the moment is insulin and night time times manly oh and Creon but i never miss Creon. i am missing out on my TOBI Neb's (do them once in a blue moon) and my DNAEs Neb's, morning pills and phyiso 2x a day.
and I'm hit and miss with my inhaler.

I'm so angry with my self and i cant keep going like this as i wont get on the TX list when i need to because you have to be fully compliant or they don't do the TX.

I have got a book and have done a page with all my meds in and then i can tick them or put a cross if i miss them.
I'm really going to try, i have done it before so i know i can if i put my mind to it.

Other news I'm waiting for a bed at papworth because I'm so tired and out of breath, i need a good rest and looking after.
I'm looking forward to some ME time too but will miss Connor more then words can say but its this or stay ill and just sit there and not playing with him or anything.
I don't want to be that kind of mum.

I'm going to join the gym soon too, well i think it will be opening up soon as it looks done. i cant wait, i hear its very good for your lungs and so is swimming so that will be what I'm doing over the next few months.

Connor is going to a new play school once I'm out of hospital as I'm fed up with the one that he is at now, there cr*p and its not good enough for him, were sending him to one that nearly twice the amount of money but its so much better for him and my dad and Matt's dad will be paying for it anyway so we don't have to worry about that at all and when he is 3 he will get it for free so its not for long.

Right I'm going and have a rest, I'll post next once I'm in hospital.

p.s happy new year everyone x

Dont Worry Im Still Here!!

Well i don't know what to say...i have really let things slide with this blog! i guess nothing has been going on that i think people would want to know lol


I have been in hospital and back on I.V's as my LF was back down and after a week was down even more! so i have 3 days left then I'm off them so I'm looking forward to see what they are after 2 weeks of i.v's.


My weight is down too, i have lost around 7kg in 3 months so isn't good, it went down to 49.2kg when i started I.V's but after 7 days it was at 50.1kg so that's good, i think that is coz i have been eating more now and also maybe coz i have been but on insulin 4 times a day :( but if it helps i'll do it. altho i might add i have missed a few with forgetting or being out and forgot to put the pen in my bag, saying that i have miss 2 lots of I.V's this time for being out and forgetting to take them with me so maybe my LF wont be back up!



X-mas is just about here! I love it around this time of year as everyone is in a good mood and i love buying people gifts :D so far i have most of what i have to get.


I need to buy Connor's main present still and few bits here and there for people as i have got everyone either one main present or 2 little ones to make the same money up as everyone else.


I cant wait to put my tree up, only another month left :D We always put our tree up on my birthday, 11th Dec and i still do this even tho i don't live at home now.


For my birthday we are (me, Matt, Connor and Matt's mum) are going to that new shopping center in London, i cant wait I'm going to get some long black UGG boots and some skinny jeans.


The day after we have to go out for Matt's nan and grandad's 50th annavery (SP) meal thing so that will be nice, i have seen a lovely dress in Jane Norman that i want to get but cant try it on yet as my port has the needle in for my I.V's so have to wait till next week. If i got it i would need some nice shoes to go with it too...i don't have any lol i live in trainers and don't really go out out to post places to it will be nice to get something nice for a change. This is the dress anyway....

Connor has started going to play-school for around a month or 2 now and loves it :) he goes two morning as week for 3 hours so i get some rest and get to clean up without him messing it up after me! the joys of a child, he is coming along with his words and can say around 30+ so he is getting better and is starting to put 2 together like he was in the bath a few days ago and when the water was draining away he was saying "bye-bye bubbles" it was so sweet he was waving to them and everything!

I'm going to see the new twilight movie when it comes out next week :D its called "new moon" I'm sure you all know what its about...if not read the book lol

I have to go sort Connor out now so this will have to be the end of this blog for now but i will re-start to update it alot more.